


celtic-crossed lovers

by rosewoods



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gen, M/M, Matchmaking, Minor Aang/Katara, Minor Jet/Zuko (Avatar), Minor Mai/Ty Lee (Avatar), Past Sokka/Suki (Avatar), Pining, Tarot, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:08:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25905598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosewoods/pseuds/rosewoods
Summary: zuko doesn't believe in tarot readings, but it's the easiest way to get answers.
Relationships: Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 61





	1. ace of cups

**Author's Note:**

> i....haven't written fanfic in years  
> @zuwuko on tumblr

Katara held a bright yellow box in her hand, other hand on her hip. She grinned as she stood over her group of friends and boasted "Look what I got in the mail today!" Her beaming smile was met with mixed reactions from the group in front of her, some happy, some confused, one deadpan.

"Maybe I'm speaking for myself, but you should _tell_ us what you got in the mail today, Katara?" Toph said, resting her chin on her palm and tapping Sokka's pencil against the table. Katara's smile dropped with her hand. 

"Right. Sorry. I got my tarot deck! The Rider-Waite-Smith deck, the most popular tarot deck in the world!" Her smile returned, and she slid into a seat between Aang and Suki. "I've been wanting to start doing tarot readings for a while," she said as she opened up the box and spread out some of the cards. The two beside her oohed and aahed at the colorful art, starting to take in the symbolism in the pictures. "It even comes with a guide book so I’ll be able to do some readings.”

Zuko looked at her and then down at the upside-down images. He was never one for fortune telling -that was more of his uncle's thing- but it wouldn't hurt to humor her. "Sure, give me one." Katara responded with a small smile on her lips and gestured to her boyfriend.

"Aang should get the first reading, he's the one who bought me the deck-"

"After you begged him for a week straight, Katara," Sokka interjected. "Besides, these things are like astrology. Made up and generalized so it "always comes true"". He punctuated the last part with hand quotes. She, along with Suki, shot him a look. Katara muttered under her breath something about how it was bad luck to buy your own deck with Aang nodding in agreement.

Suki clicked her tongue. "We'll get out of your hair then." Her words came out icy and uncharacteristic of her. Zuko glanced at Sokka and saw him blanch at her words. "Katara, I would love a reading from you somewhere else." She got up and grabbed her bag, with Katara following suit.

"Sorry guys," Aang muttered and grabbed Appa's leash before catching up with the girls. Zuko, Sokka, and Toph sat at their original table with varying levels of confusion on how exactly that played out. Toph set her pencil down and punched Sokka on the shoulder, making him cry out.

"Whose bright idea was it to invite your ex-girlfriend to The Table a week after you two broke up?" Toph threw her hands in the air. "I mean, come _on_ Sokka. I know you said you wanted to be friends but why did you think that would work out? Have you ever _seen_ a rom-com?"

Zuko knew damn well that Sokka enjoyed -no, loved- rom-coms. Maybe it was less about the movie itself and more about how laughable most of their plot lines were, but he should have known better. Rom-coms or no. He glanced over to the other guy, who looked down at his hands. "In rom-coms, the guy can win the girl back," he sighed. Toph rolled her eyes and smacked Sokka upside the head. He yelped, and then held his head in his hands. "I really didn't think it'd be a bad idea. Since she's friends with Katara, I figured it'd work out. She's friends with her, Katara's friends with us, therefore I'm friends with Suki. Like the transitive property." Zuko had half a mind to copy Toph and smack him upside the head himself.

"She's not like a boomerang," Zuko started softly. "She won't just come back around because you want her to."

It was Sokka's turn to roll his eyes. "Great advice. Get that from your uncle too?" Zuko’s eyebrows creased as he frowned, not expecting that sort of reaction from him. "Whatever. I have class in twenty and I need to re-read the chapter." He slammed his book shut, grabbed it off the table, and shoved it in his messenger bag. No goodbyes left his mouth as he left the table, leaving Zuko and Toph to analyze again, what just happened?

They sat in silence for a few moments. "Everyone's stressed because of midterms, that's all," Zuko said, unsure if what he was saying was the truth. Toph gave a small nod. 

She reached for her cane and unfolded it. "I should get going too. Talk to you later, Sparky. Hopefully next time no one's losing their minds." He let out a chuckle and said bye as the short girl walked away. Zuko looked back down at his textbook, the often-welcome silence curling and tightening around him like vines.

* * *

Mai and Ty Lee asked him the other day if he wanted to go to an LGBT discussion group, "Since you're officially out and all," Ty Lee had quipped, nudging him in the ribs and smiling. Zuko didn't give them an answer, saying he'd think about it instead. Sure, the three of them knew about each other's sexualities back in high school after a failed attempt of a relationship between Mai and Zuko, but that didn't mean he wanted the world to know.

"It's not about "letting the world know" Zuko," Ty Lee said. "It's about being yourself! It's really fun, this week we're talking about gay relationships in historical plays! That's right up your alley!" The chipper girl towered over him as he slumped deeper into his chair, crossing his arms and not daring to look her in the eye. 

He wasn't sure when he agreed to it, or if he even did, but on the day of the meeting he found himself walking out of the resource center after attending the group. Mai and Ty Lee linked arms as they walked down the steps. "Wasn't that fun?" Ty Lee grinned.

"Yeah, it was...nice." Not the right word, but the couple wouldn't fault him. They knew he wasn't one for words.

"That one guy was checking you out the whole time," Mai said. Zuko nearly tripped on the last step.

"Which guy? Who?" 

"Easy, tiger. I think he said his name was Jet. You should talk to him next time." 

"Ooh, I dunno," Ty Lee hopped in. "He gave off some weird vibes. Like, really weird."

"You think everyone gives off weird vibes," Mai retorted, before landing a small peck on her shorter girlfriend's head. Ty Lee shrugged with her free arm. 

"Still, be careful." Her phone buzzed and she unlinked arms to look at her phone. "Oh shoot! My ensemble's meeting early, gotta go!" She stood on her tip-toes to give Mai a kiss goodbye on the cheek and gave an energetic two-hand wave goodbye to Zuko before turning and heading towards the music building. Mai watched her leave with a faint smile on her lips.

"So," she started, still focusing on watching the silhouette of her girlfriend walk away. "Have you told anyone else yet?"

Zuko blinked a few times. "Tell them about...? Oh, right." He tapped his forehead. "Yeah, I, uh. Told the gang two weeks ago. They're fine with it. I think."

"What do you mean, "you think"?" She turned and focused on him instead. Her dark brown eyes pierced right into his mind, unconsciously causing him to take a step back.

"Well, Aang and Katara were surprised but cool. Toph punched me on the shoulder, which is a good sign. Suki wasn't there and Sokka was cool with it but he wouldn't look me in the eye for the rest of the day." The memory pained him. Sokka was a macho man with hints of toxic masculinity. There was some convoluted Freudian response to realizing your high-school friend was gay, Zuko supposed. "He pointed out a cute guy to me the next day, though."

Mai nodded. "Was he actually cute or did he just look gay?"

"Actually cute. Not my type at all though." 

She smirked. "Good to hear. Listen, I..." she trailed off, and her eyes softened. "I'm happy for you. For us. We made it."

Zuko's lips tugged into a smile. "Yeah, we did." This year was the first time in six years that he didn’t feel like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. He could recall the feeling of hot tears slipping down his face as he told his uncle he was gay a few days before the semester started, and then those tears soaking into the cloth of his robe as the older man embraced him. He made the younger man his favorite tea, and they sipped it and watched Love Amongst the Dragons. 

She gave him a quick hug. "I've got to get to class. Thank you for coming today, you made Ty Lee's day. You should come again next week."

"Yeah, I will," he said, the smile remaining. He waved her off and headed to his own class.

* * *

Katara spread out her tarot cards on the table in Zuko and Sokka’s dorm room. Aang was playing Mario Kart with Sokka (and losing terribly), and Toph was talking to Suki while decimating a bag of chips. Appa laid down in the corner, watching his owner.

“If I win, you gotta give me a palm reading,” Sokka said with his eyes glued to the screen. Zuko glanced over just in time to watch her roll her eyes before looking back at Aang accidentally driving off of Rainbow Road for the fifth time. 

“Toph! Do you want a reading?” she called, gesturing the two of them to the table. 

“Katara.” she narrowed her brows. 

“I’ll tell you what you pulled, duh. And besides, you’d be able to sense the energy of the cards better.” Sokka let out a guffaw as he passed the finish line ten seconds before the first NPC crossed. 

“Listen, Katara, this is a science-based household. None of that New Age stuff.”

“Household” felt funny in Zuko’s heart. It pulled at a heartstring he didn’t know he had. Obviously a joke, they lived in a shoddy dorm room. A proper household wouldn’t have a toilet that clogged every other day.

“It’s not “New Age”, it’s from the eighteenth century. Besides, I wasn’t offering you.” She shuffled a few times and fanned her cards out in front of Toph. The younger girl’s hand hovered over one section, then the other, before picking one near the top. “Oh, Six of Pentacles. Let me look that one up, some of the minor arcana is still confusing to me…”

Zuko tuned out of their conversation and refocused on the video game. Sokka was in the process of beating Aang again, taking it a step further and using shortcuts and purposely flying off the track at some points just to land on another section.

“How come when I fly off the edge the turtle guy picks me up, but when you fly off you just land on the next section?!” Aang yelled, leaning right as his car turned right. Suki let out a squeal as Katara did a reading for her, apparently pulling a favorable card. 

“Aang, your turn!” Katara laughed just as Sokka went over the finish line again. The two shook hands, Aang taking it a step further and bowing deeply to him. 

“Zuko, you wanna play?” Aang tossed the controller in his hand without waiting for an answer and slid in next to Katara. Zuko got up and sat back down next to Sokka, who leaned next to the pale boy and whispered in his ear.

“You ready to get your ass beat?” he murmured, the words like silk in his ear. A flush crossed over his face and he leaned away.

“I’m half-blind, you dick. Unfair advantage,” Zuko growled back, trying to imitate the playfulness Sokka spoke with. He had a feeling it got lost in translation. Sokka laughed and leaned back to an upright position to pick his character.

They played a few rounds while Katara shuffled the cards some more. “Zuko, do you want a reading?”

“Sure, after this race.” Said race ended quickly as Sokka somehow got triple mushrooms. The boys punched each other in the shoulder as if saying “good game” and he re-settled himself across from Katara. 

“Do you have a specific question?” she asked, cutting her deck. 

“Do these things even work?” Katara glared at Zuko and shuffled again.

“Yes, they do. Jerk.” She fanned the cards out in front of him. “You lost question privileges. Now you’re only getting a vibe check.”

Zuko shrugged and picked a card from the middle. He flipped it, and saw a picture of a woman awake in her bed, holding her head in her hands with swords on the wall behind her. Underneath, it read “Nine of Swords”. A sense of foreboding settled on his shoulders. Katara sucked in a breath.

“Jeez, that’s a callout.” She cleared her throat. “Upright Nine of Swords; implies fear, nightmares, and despair.”

Zuko set the card down, unsure of what to do or say next. Katara gave him a pitying smile. “Hey, sometimes the cards can be overdramatic. I wouldn’t worry about it.” He nodded and said a quiet thanks before returning to his original seat to watch Sokka play online. 

“Sokka, your turn,” Katara said, putting the foreboding card back in the deck and shuffling it away. 

“No thanks.”

“Oh come on, it’ll be fun. I can vibe check you too!” She said. Aang echoed her and Zuko goaded him on. He let out a large, dramatic sigh from his chest and slumped next to Katara. Zuko refocused on his roommate, watching his bright blue eyes glance down at the fanned cards before peeking back up at him and giving him a cheeky half-grin. A familiar warmth spread to Zuko’s cheeks. 

“I want…” Sokka’s hands hovered over the cards. He covered his eyes with his free hand and wiggled his fingers. “Ooh, the energy from this one is so powerful,” he drawled, before pulling a card out and showing Katara.

“Reversed Page of Cups; emotional insecurity, immaturity, disappointment.” Suki snickered.

“Hey!” He bolted upright and glared at Katara. “I demand a new card!” The look on his face wasn’t his typical happy-go-lucky one, but instead his eyebrows creased and the glow drained from his eyes. 

“Not how it works, sorry,” Katara shrugged before returning the card to the deck and shuffling. Sokka begged her a few more times without her relenting.

“Truth hurts, doesn’t it?” Suki said, examining her fingernails.

“Suki--” Katara started before Sokka jumped to his feet. 

“You don’t have to be here,” he hissed. The tension in his shoulders broke as quick as it came, and he looked down. Everyone looked at him; the looks varied from anger to pity. “I think I’m gonna retire for the night, I gotta study.”

The friends started shuffling out shortly after, citing similar excuses. Zuko closed the door, careful not to make a sound, and headed to their shared bedroom. Sokka was at his desk, light on and book open, but his head rested on top with headphones over his ears. He reached out to tap his shoulder, but retracted his hand at the last second, second-guessing how Sokka would react. Instead, he climbed into bed and faced away from the light. “Night,” he said. Sokka didn’t respond. Mere moments later, Sokka shut off his desk light and climbed into bed. Silence settled into the room, that same tension he noticed at the student center earlier that day.

“Fear, nightmares, and despair,” Katara’s words echoed in his mind. He racked his brain, trying to think of connections between his life right now and those words. He wasn’t _scared_ of anything lately, any fear he had was resolved after he came out to his friends. No nightmares either. Despair; sure, he was upset that the relationship between his friend group was thrown off balance after the break-up. Was he upset that Sokka, finally “free”, was still unobtainable? That was old news, though. Sokka had never been with a guy in the time Zuko knew him, or expressed any interest. Granted, neither had Zuko and _he_ was still gay, but it didn’t bode well for his newfound pinings. He forced his eyes shut and focused on his breathing, trying to go to sleep.


	2. two of cups

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which sokka doesn't know what "healthy coping mechanism" means

It had been four weeks since Zuko came out, three weeks since Sokka and Suki broke up, two weeks since Katara got her tarot deck, and approximately thirty-six hours since Sokka last regaled Zuko about the last “super hot chick on Tinder” that he hooked up with. Apparently, his roommate went from denial to acceptance in a matter of days and spent his newfound free time sleeping with whoever he could. Whatever moments he spent in his own dorm and not someone else’s, he told tales of countless encounters. Zuko was getting sick of it. 

He hardly looked up from his textbook as Sokka sauntered back into their dorm with a smirk on his face. “You wouldn’t _believe_ this girl I just met, bro.” He started up again, and Zuko stopped the mental stopwatch he had going. Hopefully after this tale he’d break his record and never tell Zuko any sordid details ever again. Ignoring his best friend was difficult, he soon realized. Not because Sokka talked louder than his thoughts, but because his stupid feelings got in the way. The last few reasonable brain cells of his told him to focus on the text in front of him, figure out how exactly to use L’Hospital’s rule to find indeterminate forms or whatever the hell, but they lost and Zuko soon swiveled his body to face Sokka. He was gesturing indiscriminately about whatever he’s going on about, and Zuko chose to ignore whatever nonsense he’s saying to instead focus on his movements. The flow, the contour, the-- _is he describing her tits?_

“Sokka,” he broke the other’s monologue. “I’m happy you got over Suki this fast, I really am, but I can’t relate to this _at all_.”

His hands fell, and his usually-lively baby blues looked...not lively at all. They were glossy, empty, heartbroken. 

“Right. Cool. Guess I’ll go then,” Sokka spat. 

“That’s not what I-” Zuko got out of his chair “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that, you know that--”

Sokka spun around to face him, their eyes level. He opened his mouth and inhaled, about to say something, but no sound came out. Zuko stared at his face. The two had known each other for years now, but the expression Sokka wore made him unrecognizable. He tried to say something again, before shaking his head and walking out the doorway. 

“Sokka!” Zuko called as he tried opening the main door to leave. “Let’s- uh. Let’s play Mario Kart. Neither of us have class for an hour and I’m desperate to get my ass beat again.” A small smile cracked on his roommate’s face, and he turned. 

“Yeah? That’s hot.” The pale boy’s face flushed. “We’re playing the mirror tracks, I really wanna see you suffer.” 

“So,” Sokka started, not taking his eyes off the track. “When did you figure out you were gay?” Zuko’s character flew off and fell, yelling the whole way.

He sputtered for a moment, watching Lakitu drop Waluigi back onto the track. “I, uh- You know Mai? We dated for a month in high school. And then we both realized that we were gay. She’s dating Ty Lee now.”

Sokka laughed. “Yeah, I know that. But how did you figure it out?”

Zuko short-circuited some more. “I just- One day I realized straight guys don’t admire the football team during practice. Or watch the movement of a track teammate’s calves when they’re running. It all clicked when Mai said she was attracted to women, I didn’t realize you could like the same side.” 

Sokka crossed the finish line and grinned, punching Zuko in the shoulder. “That’s the most ‘you’ thing I’ve ever heard.”

“Why- why do you ask?” His heart skipped. Was this it? The big moment? Where Sokka would look into his eyes and cup his cheek, and they would stare at each other and-

“Just curious. You wanna go again?”

“Yeah, sure. Can we switch to 100cc?”

“Nope.”

* * *

Katara posted on her close friend’s story that she was offering readings for practice. She took a selfie with her winking and holding up a peace sign, and a filter that gave her cat ears. He shot her a text; “hit me with your best shot”

She responded back within minutes “omg come over!! toph suki and aang are here lol”

Zuko looked at his watch. He had a class in thirty minutes, but it was a review day, but midterms were coming up, but he already had a 98% in the class…

He started walking towards Katara’s dorm, shooting her an “omw”. Did Sokka know all of them were hanging out without him? 

The four of them were hanging around Katara’s table, poring over an elaborate spread of cards. Zuko noted there were ten of them in various positions, Katara working on explaining the connection between the one in the center and the top-right, the ones that were opposite each other. It was soothing, hearing her talk about the layout with intuition. It reminded him of his uncle, sometimes they did tea leaf readings. Iroh would point out some shapes and what they meant and how they were positioned on the cup, but Zuko could never make out what they were nor remember what something like a cat meant.

Appa looked up at first, cueing Aang to look up as well. “Hey! Come sit down, Katara’s looking at Suki’s future,” he laughed, patting the spot next to him. 

The five of them spent another ten minutes analyzing Suki’s cards, the querent stopping every so often to write something down in her notes app. Katara sighed once she was done.

“Okay, no more of those until I get better at reading, that was exhausting,” she said, picking up the cards and shuffling them back in. “Zuko, you still wanted a reading?”

“Nah, I don’t want to trouble you-” Katara waved her hand. 

“It’s _not_ a trouble, silly. Just don’t expect the Celtic cross spread; the one I just did for Suki. Do you have a question this time or do you want another vibe check?”

Zuko looked over at Suki. “What did you ask?”

Her face flushed, “Ah, just something about my future.”

“With Sokka?” The words stumbled out of his mouth without a thought to back them up. The other four gaped at him.

“ _No._ Zuko, you know why we broke up, right?” Suki said her words slowly, carefully, trying to not let her growing irritation show in her voice. He shook his head. She sighed. “I’m surprised, considering you’re living together. But whatever. He claims he…” She pinched her temples and exhaled. “He said he lost romantic feelings for me. Or whatever. He said all that stereotypical stuff like how he wanted to be friends and that it wasn’t me, it was him and- ugh!” 

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, I get it,” Zuko interjected.

“No, no, I want to. It’s just frustrating. I don’t understand how you can date someone for two years, and then when said someone does a semester in Spain you suddenly lose feelings.” The tension in her shoulders broke, and she sagged. “I mean, I think I kind of get it, but for the most part I don’t.”

The four of them comforted her, Katara unhelpfully mentioning that her brother was an idiot. 

“I want to be friends with him _and_ you guys but every little thing he says is just so irritating! It’s like he always has to have the last word, and he’s always right.” She let out another sigh and leaned back on her palms. “It’s not like we were going to get married or anything. Anyways, I wanna hear Zuko’s reading. Unless it’s about me and Sokka.” She laughed the last phrase, but there was just enough venom in the undertone to tell Zuko not to even joke about it. 

“Jeez, I don’t even know what to ask,” he said. “Could you tell my future? Like how is next week going to go?”

Katara nodded and shuffled her deck. “Okay, pull three cards.” Zuko, uncreatively, pulled the top three. She rolled her eyes and laid them out in order. “So the first one means what you’re going to be thinking about, the second one means what you’re going to be feeling, and the third one means what you’re going to be doing.”

She flipped the cards over and read them out loud. Five of Pentacles, reversed Three of Cups, and Knight of Cups. Katara sucked in a breath again and Zuko wondered why his bad luck extended to fortune telling too.

“So, okay. Five of Pentacles means insecurity, but that it also means there’s help out there as long as you acknowledge it. Reversed Three of Cups can mean solitude, but also acting against your own wants for the sake of others. Reversed cards are odd like that. Knight of Cups means new romance, or good news. Or it means you’ll meet a man who’s in touch with his emotions. Does that make sense?”

Zuko’s gut reaction was to tell her no, you need to spoon-feed me this stuff, but he let the words roll around in his head some. 

“Yeah, it does. So I’ll be thinking about my insecurities, feeling lonely, and doing some guy who’s in touch with his feelings. Cool. Great week ahead of me.” He pulled a laugh out of Toph. 

“Good for you, Sparky. You need to get laid.” 

Aang snorted so hard he startled Appa. Suki ruffled his hair, messing up the perfectly styled tousled thing he had going on. Despite the jokes, he couldn’t help but feel unnerved about the other two cards he pulled. 

* * *

Mai and Ty Lee waited for him outside the resource center, sitting on the steps. Ty Lee waved at him when she spotted him, he returned the gesture. “So what’s this week’s meeting about?”

“I think it’s just a coffee and cake chat, something to relax after midterms,” Ty Lee said as Mai nodded. Zuko furrowed his eyebrows. “Oh no, you’re not getting out of this.” Ty Lee jumped up and grabbed Zuko’s arm. “You need to talk to that guy, remember? Here’s your chance!” She nearly ripped his arm out of his socket as she bounded up the small set of stairs. Mai followed suit. 

He was intimidatingly cute, Zuko noticed. A sharp, steely stare from him followed Zuko through the room, and continued after he sat next to Mai. Should he look up? Catch him in the act? Would that make things awkward? Zuko pulled out his phone instead, hoping he would have some sort of reprieve. 

Nothing. Katara and Aang blew up the group chat whenever he was in class, or studying, or any other inconvenient time but the one time he hoped they would be debating about whether or not the vegan mac and cheese in the dining hall was good, they vanished. He brought up Ty Lee’s contact. “he’s staring at me” he shot off, hearing her phone buzz seconds later.

“I SAW!!!!!!!!!” she texted back, followed by almost a dozen heart eye emojis “u rly should talk to him!!!! hes obvs interested zuzu!!!!!” 

He slid down in his chair. He would rather die. 

Zuko tried paying attention to the discussion, he really did. Whenever someone started asking a question he would listen to the first few words, but then his mind would start wandering and thinking about the stare, or Sokka’s face, or Suki’s words, or those damned cards he pulled. And then he’d snap out of it, refocus on whoever was talking, and be met with “That’s a great point; let’s open up the floor to another question.”

Jet would look over at him every so often, he could feel the pinpoints in his skin. Every so often, the girl sitting next to him would look at him too. They would glance away, and he’d take a scant moment to look up at them and see them talking before trying to re-enter the discussion. It was a long two hours.

Ty Lee nearly pushed him in her efforts to get him to talk to the mysterious man. “Also, Mai’s taking me on a date so don’t catch up! Bye Zuko!” she said before leaving Zuko to deal with whatever tension was going on. 

He swallowed his nerves, the feeling traveling down into his stomach. The girl sitting next to him grabbed her bag and pointed at him, before laughing and leaving. Jet caught his eyes with that razor blade tension, and he waved before walking over. “Hey,” Zuko started. 

“Hey,” he returned, a grin tugging at his mouth. “Name’s Jet.” He stuck his hand out. 

Zuko’s father, damn him, treated him like shit and kept him in the dark about the family business and most other things. One thing he did teach his son, though, was how to give a firm and proper handshake. And Zuko used that lesson well. Jet’s eyebrow twitched. “Zuko.”

“You were here last week, right? You said something really insightful about that one play.”

Zuko’s eyes brightened. “Oh, you mean “Love Amongst the Dragons”? Yeah, it’s my favorite opera!” His excitement got the best of him, admittedly, and all he could do is hope that Jet didn’t think he was a loser. “I used to watch it all the time with my mom, and me and my uncle watch it every other week now.” Was he rambling too much? Was this charming? Was this how people flirted? He got a laugh out of Jet, more than he could hope for.

“That’s great, man. You know what? You should meet my friends, Bee and Duke. They’re good people, you’d love them. We’re having a movie night at my place Friday, you should come.” Jet said. His voice saturated Zuko’s ears with coquettish tones. The flirt grabbed a marker and grazed over Zuko’s fingers before grabbing his hand and writing down a phone number. “Text me.”

Maybe Ty Lee was right. About Jet being interested, not him having weird vibes. Unless being forward with flirting was weird. But it wasn’t? Ty Lee adamantly flirted with Mai every day for three months before Mai got the hint. He mentally scattered the thoughts from his mind; nothing else mattered aside from the fact that the first guy Zuko talked to in a non-friendly manner gave him his number. “Y-yeah,” Zuko stuttered. “I’ve got to get going, but I’ll text you! Promise!” Cringe. He looked at his hand and smiled before stepping out of the building. He grabbed his phone and entered in Jet’s number then opened up Ty Lee’s texts.

“holy shit ty”

“ZUKO OMG!!!!! MAI AND I SAW E V E R Y T H I N G”

“what about your date”

“THATS LATER OMG YOU GOT HIS NUMBER!!!!!!”

And almost on cue, Ty Lee came dashing out of the resource center, Mai tagging along moments later. “Zuko!” she yelled. “You did it, you did it, you did it! What did I tell you?!”

Mai gave a rare smile. “I’m happy for you, Zuko. When’s the wedding?” 

“Probably within the month considering he invited me to a movie night.” He straightened his back and did a hair flip. Ty Lee’s mouth gaped. 

“That’s even better!” She yelled, causing some students to turn heads. “You’re going, right? You have to!”

Zuko looked away and covered the numbered hand. “I dunno what I’d tell Sokka-” Mai interrupted with a groan. “But I think I will.”

Mai pinched the bridge of her nose. “You’ve realized you had a crush on Sokka for what, a week now? Get over it, you’re going.”

Verbalizing his emotions sunk his heart to his stomach. It was a crush, wasn’t it? And not one that would go anywhere. He nodded and affirmed that he would be attending. No better way to kill unresolved feelings than to try to make out with someone else. “It’s not that, usually _we_ watch a bad movie together. I don’t know how I’d explain that to him.” Mai rolled her eyes as if to respond “figure it out, dumbass”, and let his fool’s words hang in the air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @zuwuko on tumblr :)


	3. three of cups

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> zuko goes on a date! maybe!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi yeah i'm lowkey dumb and i always pronounce mai's name as my instead of may

“Sokka?” Zuko said, peeking his head through the doorway. The other kid sat at his desk, watching a stream of some game Zuko hadn’t heard of. He glanced over and noticed the pale guy standing in the doorway. The smile that curled on his lips made Zuko’s heart skip a beat. “ _Focus_ ” he thought. Squeezing his eyelids closed helped block out the visual. “I’m gonna have to skip out on movie night this week, sorry.”

He waved a dark-skinned hand. “Don’t worry about it, you hanging out with Mai-Ty again?” Sokka was _so_ proud of himself when he thought up that name combo. Zuko wouldn’t dare pass it on to the couple in question. 

Zuko’s face faltered in response, causing Sokka’s to do the same. “No, I- uh-” Zuko started. He took a deep breath. “I have a date. With a guy.”

Sokka looked at him carefully for a moment, then his blue eyes stared not at Zuko but at the wall behind him. He cleared his throat and looked away. “Great to hear, man. Let me know if it turns nasty and I’ll come pick you up.” Something about the tone of his voice told Zuko to not even think about contacting him this Friday and he was only saying that out of social obligations. Noted.

“Thanks, I guess. I’m- I’m gonna go to the library.” Zuko had no reason to leave the dorm seeing as his first class was in two hours but he sure as hell didn’t want to stay here.

“Have fun, don’t get a papercut,” his roommate (just his _roommate_ ) said. Just as Zuko turned in the doorway, Sokka called out again. “Hey.”

Zuko gave him a wary look, peeking his head around the wood. 

“I’m serious. About you calling me, or texting me, or whatever.” A small smile tugged at his lips, his eyes soft despite the harsh desk light. Maybe it was a trick of the light, or just because of his bad eye, but Zuko could’ve sworn he saw a light blush across Sokka’s cheeks. “If you need an out, I’m your man.”

What he would give for him to say “I’m yours”.

* * *

Today was the day. The date. Zuko’s _first_ date, he agonized over morning coffee with Katara. His head was in his hands and his caramel latte sat there, forgotten. Katara took a sip of her white mocha and patted his head. “You’re freaking out over nothing,” she soothed. “It’s just a movie, and with his friends. Unless his friends are actually a couple, I don’t know if this even counts as a date.”

He looked up and glared at her, his brown eyes peeking from his mop of black hair. “Rude.” She had a point though, as much as he didn’t want to think about it. “He grabbed my hand and wrote his number on it. If that’s not romance then it’s dead.” A half-joke, but Zuko had been so touch-starved over the years that even that sent his heart racing.

Katara’s interest looked piqued. “You didn’t tell me _that_ ,” she said, leaning forward. Zuko responded by leaning back.

“We-ell, it’s not a big deal,” he sputtered.

“Maybe you’re taking this just as seriously as you need to, then.” She took another sip of her white mocha and looked out the window, letting Zuko drive himself crazy over her words and Jet’s flirting. He buried his fingers in his hair. “But seriously, I wouldn’t freak out over it. That tends to freak guys out and you want a second date, right?” Zuko groaned. “I’ll take that as a ‘yes’. Just be yourself.”

“Being myself means I’ll freak out.”

“Then be the parts of yourself that won’t freak out. Be the parts of yourself that gush about opera and the parallels in your favorite plays, the parts that get Aang ketchup from the condiment stand when his nerves get out of control even though you’re just as anxious.” Her words washed over him, cooling the frayed nerves that sent his mind on fire. 

He was silent for a second. Katara brushed against his hand and gave it a small squeeze of encouragement. They shared smiles and drank their coffees in silence.

* * *

Zuko took in a deep breath. In front of him was Jet’s door, supposedly. That’s the address he sent him, at least. But what if it wasn’t? What if this was some cruel joke? He knocked on the door.

It took a few moments, and he heard some rustling, but someone answered. Not Jet, but the girl who hung out with him at the discussion group. “Oh, you’re…” she started.

“Zuko, yeah. This is Jet’s place, right?”

She snorted. “That’s what he told you? It’s really me an’ Duke’s, but he pays rent so…” she trailed off and waved her hand inside. “I dunno if he mentioned me but I’m Bee, it’s nice to meet you.”

Through the miniature hallway was a small, open area Zuko assumed was the living room. Jet and another guy (Duke, presumably) were already there and sitting on the couch, with another couple of chairs open. Jet looked up and set his smoke down, and Zuko’s nostrils filled with the indescribably pungent scent of weed. “Hey, man. Glad you could make it,” he said. As if on cue, Duke left the couch to go into the kitchen, and Jet patted the seat next to him. 

“I see you’ve already met Smeller,” he laughed. “The other one’s Duke.”

“Smeller?” he trailed, looking over at Bee, who had a nasty look on her face.

“S. Miller. Miller’s my last name and _Bee_ is my first name.” She threw daggers at Jet, who wasn’t paying attention. Zuko wasn’t too aware most of the time, but her tone of voice clicked. He nodded and muttered a small affirmation. Just so both of them were aware what side he was on.

“You smoke, Zuko?”

“N-not really but--”

Jet waved his hand. “This is some primo shit. You have to try some.” Zuko sat down on the couch next to him and hoped that wasn’t non-verbal agreement. “Besides, movies are always better high.” 

Zuko let out a sigh that he hoped he could pass off as just a deep breath. “Weed gives me anxiety,” he tried.

“Because you’re smoking with the wrong people. This is Northern Lights Indica. If anything, it’ll help with your anxiety.” Jet passed the blunt to Zuko and wouldn’t take no for an answer. His hands shook a little as he took in an inhale. 

One of his old friends used to smoke a lot, and used to ask Zuko to smoke with him a lot. Peer pressure is a weird thing and it was easier for the guy to learn how to smoke without taking it into your lungs than deny people. So that’s what he did.

Jet took a deep, long drag and exhaled out of his nose, the smoke billowing out and curling around them. A chill ran down Zuko’s spine; that’s how his father smoked his cigars. Long, deep puffs and exhales that smoked out the room. Zuko subconsciously rubbed at his forearms, tugging at the sleeves of his hoodie. Jet passed it off to Bee and Zuko coughed. Duke arrived back from the kitchen and sat on the floor in front of Bee, who took a small hit and graciously passed it off to Duke, who also took a small hit. His turn. 

“No, I’m alright,” he said, waving his hands. Duke shrugged and tried giving it to Jet, who also denied it. 

“What’s wrong, dude? It’s not gonna hurt you.”

“I- I have classes early tomorrow, I want to make sure I don’t oversleep.”

Jet rolled his eyes and took the blunt from Duke, taking another long inhale and letting it curl out his nose. Zuko shivered.

He wasn’t sure if it was the weed or the trauma or what was causing his nerves to go mad. The movie played in the background and Zuko had no idea what was going on in it, he hadn’t been paying attention the whole time. “ _I can always text Sokka,_ ” he thought, letting the thought roll around in his mind for a few moments before Jet curled his arm around his waist. The sensation of human touch overwhelmed him for a moment before the younger guy couldn’t help but melt into him. Had it been that long? Jet’s arm was warm and Zuko caught the scent of cinnamon; a common scent in his old household. “ _Maybe this isn’t so bad,_ ” his own thoughts betrayed him. 

Bee yawned and stretched before getting out of her chair and going to the kitchen. “D’you want me to pause it?” Duke asked; the first time Zuko heard him speak.

“Nah, it’s boring. I think I might go to bed.” She filled a cup with tap water and yawned again. Zuko looked at the clock; thirty minutes to midnight. He should get going too, but Jet inched closer with every passing moment and the feeling sent electricity through his veins. Ty Lee would joke about him being “touch-starved” every so often and he never considered it until now. It was a stupid thing, being touch-starved. It felt like a weak thing, a dull thing, something that thirteen-year-old Zuko would understand but he was too old to feel that. Cinnamon mixed with weed mixed with Jet’s general musk and he _understood._ He drank up Jet’s warmth and the feeling of skin-to-skin contact. He didn’t object when his hand snuck up under his hoodie and his fingers curled on his waist. If anything, he wished for more.

Duke sat at the foot of Bee’s chair before sighing. “This _is_ boring. I’m gonna go to sleep too.” He got up and gave Jet an odd look before retiring for the night. And suddenly, there were two.

Zuko’s mind raced, the thoughts flying too fast for him to understand any of them. Jet’s fingers danced on his skin and dared to lift up fabric more, more, _more_ and it made Zuko’s head swim. He was drowning. 

“ _Call Sokka, don’t call Sokka, call Sokka, **don’t call Sokka**_ ” his mind screamed. But he didn’t _want_ to call him. His breathing hitched just as Jet’s free hand hooked on his jaw, his light brown eyes staring into Jet’s deeper black ones. “ _Oh, he’s **hot**._”

Jet rubbed his finger against Zuko’s scarred skin and he flinched, pushing his hand away and scrambling to the other side of the couch. Jet blinked. “Did that hurt?”

“N-no. Just don’t do that.”

Jet gave a small nod of approval and scooted next to Zuko again, hand on thigh and face approaching. His heart leapt up into his throat and his mouth went dry. Jet licked his lips, the smallest movement, and kissed Zuko, other hand cupping the other side of his face. His first kiss, wouldn’t Mai be proud. He leaned into it, letting Jet take control, and letting his hands rest on Jet’s chest. 

They made out for what felt like forever. Heat spread all across Zuko’s skin, a burning feeling he hadn’t felt before. He wanted _more_ but there was that small, nagging feeling. Shouldn’t this kind of stuff be...less rushed? Maybe that was just his hopeless romantic side speaking but he wished he knew the guy more. Then again, this was nice and it was 2020, virginity and the concept of things being “special” was some hetero-normative, sexist, slut-shaming bullshit. Zuko brushed his lips against Jet’s neck, allowing himself to bathe in the small groan the other let out. He responded by grabbing his hip and tilting his chin up.

“Come to bed,” Jet said, his voice coming out as a low rumble that made Zuko’s face flush. He got up and walked to his room, Zuko trailing behind.

Jet was no stranger to this, apparently, as he guided Zuko to his bed and started slipping off his hoodie within moments. Zuko let out a hiss and pressed his hands against Jet’s chest, pushing him away. Jet’s eyebrows furrowed and he got up, letting Zuko collect himself. He hopped off the bed and pulled his clothes back down, not daring to look him in the eyes. 

“I- I can’t do this. Sorry.” Zuko’s words came out clipped and harsher than he needed.

“What the _fuck_ ,” Jet started. He let the words linger for a moment, as if he was deciding how exactly to tear Zuko apart. “Get out, you fucking freak,” was all he managed to come up with. Zuko took his leave.

It was freezing outside of his apartment, and it was one in the morning. The buses were done for the night and his poor college student budget couldn’t afford an Uber. He shivered. From the cold or from his frayed nerves, he couldn’t tell. His fingers fumbled in his pocket for a second before pulling out his phone and dialing Sokka. He must have been waiting (for him?) because his roommate answered within the first ring.

“Hey, buddy! How’s everything going over there?” his voice was chipper for a guy who asked him to call if anything went _wrong_. 

There was silence, Zuko couldn’t force the words out of his throat. He was shivering too much.

“You want me to pick you up, I’m guessing?” Sokka didn’t wait for an answer. “Send me the address.”

Zuko forced out a “thank you” before hanging up and sending the details. He flipped his hood up and held himself tightly, staring at the faint snowfall illuminated by streetlights. He forced himself to steady his breathing, trying to remember how his uncle told him to. Deep breaths in through the nose, exhale out the mouth. Repeat as necessary. Zuko would admit it worked better when the chill didn’t nip at his nose and make the air burn in his lungs.

Sokka pulled up in a significantly shorter amount of time than Zuko was expecting. He gave a friendly wave and unlocked the door. Zuko crawled in and was blasted with heat from the A/C. He shuddered and took down his hood, letting the sudden warmth crawl into his bones.

Sokka started driving in silence. They hit the first light before he turned. Zuko could sense the pitying look in his peripheral vision and resented every moment of it.

“Zuko, talk to me. Please,” Sokka said, with only the hum of the engine to fill the silence. He placed his hand on Zuko’s thigh, causing him to flinch. Sokka immediately lifted his hand and put it back on the steering wheel.

“I’m _fine_. It was just a weird night. I’m tired.”

“Are you fine or are you tired?” he joked, letting out a small laugh. Sokka had enough common sense to know that this wasn’t the time. “Are you hungry?” he asked, softer this time. 

Zuko desperately wanted to say no, he just wanted to go home and curl into his sheets and forget this ever happened, but he was _starved_. How does someone offer weed and no snacks to go along with it? “Yeah.”

“Do you want Taco Bell?”

“It’s the only place open.”

Sokka nodded. “There’s that White Castle down the street but…” Between their gang of friends, they had enough unpleasant experiences with White Castle to last them a lifetime. “Taco Bell. My treat.” And the warmth of his voice was more than what the little A/C could do.

They sat in the parking lot in silence, except for the soft indie-punk music Zuko played. Zuko was the only person Sokka trusted with the aux cord. Not even his own flesh-and-blood sister had the right. His friend tore through two bean burritos loaded with every free thing he could manage, and Zuko took only a few bites of his singular dollar menu burrito before having to wrap it up.

“Come on, _talk to me_. Was this guy really that bad? You know I studied martial arts, I could kick his ass.”

“We were in the same dojo, dumbass,” Zuko prodded. “We could both kick his ass.”

Sokka rolled his eyes. “Stop avoiding the question.”

The events were still a blur in Zuko’s mind. He was trying to parse together what was actually a dick move and what was just him overreacting. He shrugged. Sokka tousled his hair and _Christ_ he was touch-starved.

“He was expecting a hook-up, I wasn’t.”

“For _fuck’s sake_ Zuko, did he-”

“No! No. We just, uh, made out for a bit. And then he tried taking my shirt off and I freaked out and left. And he called me a freak.”

Silence. Deep and uncomfortable silence that sucked the warmth from his bones. Sokka took his hand, and Zuko realized just how cold his own fingers were.

“You’re not a freak, first of all. Second of all, what the _fuck_? How does this go from a first date to a hook-up? What’s this guy’s name, I’ll knock him out-”

“Sokka.”

“Who the _fuck_ does that? I know we live in a hook-up culture but-”

“ _Sokka_.”

Sokka sighed and squeezed his hand, sending warmth up to bloom across his cheeks. “Nothing bad happened, it was a misunderstanding. I’m probably not going to see him again.”

“That’s still fucked up, though. You know that, right?”

Zuko groaned and released his hand (and he could’ve sworn Sokka’s fingers lingered). “I’m well aware. Trust me, I didn’t _want_ to have my first kiss taken by some guy I didn’t know.” More silence. Zuko turned to see Sokka’s mouth agape. “What?”

“Your first kiss?” And Zuko thanked whatever deities were out there that the lights were off so no one could see the scarlet across his face.

“It’s not a big deal. People have had worse first kisses.”

And maybe the second one could be better, if Sokka would cup his face and brush his lips against his own--

Zuko shook his head. “Seriously, I’m not that upset over it. Do I wish it went better? Yeah, sure. Am I gonna cry over it? No. Can we go back to the dorm? I’m exhausted.”

Sokka nodded. “Tell me about it. I was so freaked out about you I couldn’t sleep.”

More scarlet flared across Zuko’s cheeks. “But you’re here now, and you’re safe. Are you done eating?”

The poor cheap burrito laid there forgotten, and the thought of finishing it made his stomach turn. He nodded and Sokka threw the car in reverse. The drive back was quick and silent, and Zuko couldn’t remember the time between getting out of the car and his head hitting his pillow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @zuwuko on tungl.hell  
> also yes smellerbee is trans  
> also i didn't realize how much i smashed that mf italics button

**Author's Note:**

> i feel like i should mention that the celtic cross is a traditional tarot spread, like the de-facto one used in divination. that plus star-crossed lovers...yeah


End file.
